The Best RFC You’ve Never Heard Of

You’ve probably heard of RFC 2324, the iconic 1998 April Fool’s joke that gave the world the Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (HTCPCP/1.0):

Any attempt to brew coffee with a teapot should result in the error code “418 I’m a teapot”. The resulting entity body MAY be short and stout.

Some of the nerdier among us may even remember the IPv10 RFC draft, an elaborate piece of delusion or trolling still going strong after almost two years. Of course, we all know nothing helps reduce the number of competing standards like adding more competing standards [obligatory XKCD].

However, to locate true genius, we must peruse the list of April Fools’ Day RFCs and select one from April 1st, 1990. Yes, it’s none other than the one and only RFC 1149, aka IP over Avian Carriers (IPoAC). In perhaps the best form of proof that IP can be adapted to run over almost any physical link imaginable, RFC 1149 lays out the basics for a working IP-based network using carrier pigeons.

Really, no one can describe IPoAC better than its creator, David Waitzman:

The IP datagram is printed, on a small scroll of paper, in hexadecimal, with each octet separated by whitestuff and blackstuff. The scroll of paper is wrapped around one leg of the avian carrier. A band of duct tape is used to secure the datagram’s edges. The bandwidth is limited to the leg length.

If you haven’t read all of RFC 1149, it’s only two pages and is certainly worth the read. When you’re finished, you can read RFC 2549, David’s quality of service-enabled extension to the original IPoAC spec. I’ll leave you with this absolute gem from that follow-up RFC:

The ITU has offered . . . formal alignment with its corresponding technology, Penguins, but that won’t fly.

All jokes aside, this is a good reminder that anyone can submit their own RFC, and that you probably shouldn’t believe everything you read on the Internet.